Chapter Two
“Mom! Mom!” I hear the voice, yet I am unable to fully awake to the familiar tone. My eyes feel glued closed and even though I know it’s time to face the day, my body refuses to understand the reality of what lies ahead. Shifting under the covers deeper, my toes feel numb from the coolness of the falling temperatures. Should’ve closed the windows last night. Getting colder.
Again, I hear the yell from outside my bedroom door.
“Mom! It’s time to get up! I gotta get to school earlier today, remember?” I hear the panicked anticipation in his voice.
Yeah, I remember. But I don’t remember why my alarm didn’t go off. I know I set it for an hour earlier. What happened? My only explanation is that I was so out of it that I kept hitting the snooze—perhaps I just shut the whole thing off with one swift thud.
Rolling over to the other side of the bed is an option, but not a very responsible one. Jeff has already left for work and I see that today, this is my role. I must get up. But it’s so cold out there, I argue with my thoughts. And what is there to look forward to? What is my day going to be today?
Getting showered, dressed, taking the boys to school, coming home, possibly cleaning—again—maybe a cup of coffee with a distant friend, lunch, and then back to the school to pick the boys up. It was the same list of chores each day. Oh, once in a while, I threw in a surprise twist—going to lunch with one of the kids, or I met Jeff for lunch—one time I even volunteered to chair the spring festival—what was I thinking on that one? I needed something more, but what, well, that was a different story. I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I had it all—the perfect life. What more could a girl want?
A burst of energy slammed my door against the wall as a little man stomped in the room.
“Seriously, Mom! We gotta go! I’m gonna be late for my project work with Mr. Jackson.” Two hands grabbed the comforter and yanked back hard until I was exposed to the cool air. I slowly peeked through my eyelashes to see one of the most beautiful sights I’d ever witnessed: Tyler. He was up and ready to hit the road, that’s for sure. He was dressed in his football jersey and a pair of jeans and had his hair spiked in the front—I think there’s a special girl he’s trying to impress—and his breath smelled fresh, so I knew he didn’t need that reminder.
“Ok, ok, I’m up,” I groaned. What was wrong with this picture? Wasn’t it my job to wake my kids up and for them to moan and groan how they didn’t want to wake up? Well, Tyler and Cameron both adored Mr. Jackson and although they both had struggled earlier in the school year with science, suddenly Tyler had grown with such fascinating interest. I wasn’t about to squelch that excitement and enthusiasm.
I sat up slowly, gaining my balance and asked Tyler, “Is your brother ready to go?” He waved at me as he left the room, mumbling that indeed, he was.
6:00 seemed too early for anyone to be awake, let alone be at work, and even less likely that anyone could be excited about science this early. Needless to say, I had two boys who were dressed and ready to go to school. My boys were my life. Tyler and Cameron, identical twins in physical appearances, but completely opposite in their interests. Tyler was my little academic prodigy and while Cameron didn’t have many struggles in school, his forte was in athletics. Tyler, the video gamer; Cameron, the musician. They each had their “titles” that we all get somewhere from someone in life. And our boys each got the best qualities of Jeff and me.
Jeff. The love of my life. I know that sounds like a cliché, but I can’t help the way I feel about him. When I met Jeff, I had just gotten out of a two year engagement with my high school sweetheart. But he just couldn’t go through with the commitment. Jeff? Jeff was different. He was all about commitment. He was honest and sincere and always had my best interest at heart. From the moment I met him, I knew he would be the father of my children. I knew I would love him forever. His family was the kind of family I knew I had to be a part of. Secure, friendly, hard-working, too-good-to-be-true kind of people. And when Jeff took me home that first time to meet them, we all fell in love immediately. I loved everything about him and how his parents had raised him. I knew he had to be my husband.
“MOM!” I knew that tone and I knew I was in trouble now and had better hurry. I had showered and was drying my hair as fast as I possibly could, but that tone meant trouble. Probably meant that Tyler was going to beat Cameron up for not being as ready as he should be. Another shriek, “MOM! PHONE!”
I got to the phone in my room and lifted it from the base. “Got it, Tyler!” I yelled back. This better be quick; I had to get a move-on. “Hello?”
“Hey, sexy lady,” it was my smooth-talking man. His voice was silky and velvet against my ear.
“Hello, there, baby,” I whispered back, wanting badly to remember if I had heard Tyler hang the other phone up.
“Just calling to wish you a great day,” Jeff said. He called every day, at different times of the day, just to surprise me. It was the one thing I anticipated every day. I couldn’t remember a day when he hadn’t called; I couldn’t remember a day when he hadn’t looked me in the eyes, held me close and told me he loved me. I lived for those moments. He continued, “And . . . to remind you to get the boys to school early today. They have an appointment to work with Mr. Jackson, remember?”
“Yes, I remember. Of course I remember. Why wouldn’t I?” Busted. Well, not totally. I wasn’t really busted. I did remember, I just didn’t remember it was today. “I’d be out the door, except you interrupted our exit, Smarty-Pants.”
“Sure. I’ll let you go. Love you, Catherine.”
Click. I love you too Jeff.
The drive to school was a quick one, followed by a quick peck on the cheek from each boy—so glad that hasn’t stopped yet—and then they were both off, Tyler’s skip turning into a full sprint, and Cameron lagging behind, dragging his backpack, trying to contain the yawn which had just escaped. I loved those boys. They were getting too big, though. Ten years old. Too much time had gone by. And where had it run to? Away from me, that was for sure. What had I done with my life? Soon, the boys would be driving and dating, and then, heaven’s sake, getting married and leaving me behind. What then? What would I do? My whole life had been put into these two lives and what did I have to show for my own life? I didn’t have a job; I didn’t need one. Jeff made a great living and supported us, not only emotionally, but financially as well. I didn’t have many close friends. I didn’t have anything to do. I wanted something—anything—to do. I needed something to make me feel fulfilled, like I’d left my mark on the world.
Lately, I was just Jeff’s wife, Tyler and Cameron’s mom . . . just a title. I wanted to be Catherine. Just me. I wanted Catherine to make a difference because I was Catherine, not because I was someone else’s something. Because I had changed a life. I had made a difference.
Lovin it! However, I feel a little like I do when I read the back section of a book, where the author leaves only one chapter of the next book…very frustrating. I want to read it all!